My feed this week has been filled with #suicideprevention propaganda about checking on friends, seeking mental health, self care and so on.

Each post is a pinprick. Each a reminder of my brother’s untimely passing.

In the months following his death, I got hundreds of condolence emails, texts, DMs. Hundreds of “he’s in peace”. I was invited to join grief support groups.

What was rarely discussed is the toxicity of desi culture — the ‘log kya kahenge’ (what will people say), the hiding of so-called dirty laundry, ignoring early signs, being complicit in causing harm. The ways in which fathers shame and bully their boys for being ‘not enough’. Not athletic enough, not entrepreneurial enough, never ‘man’ enough. The ways in which our mothers are gaslit and kept from seeking help. The culture of verbal, physical, psychological violence — all of it rationalized by “someone else has it worse”. …

Small and medium-sized business guide to investing in long-term change.

The resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement following the death of George Floyd, in the midst of a global pandemic, has created an explosion of consciousness among leaders across all sectors — and for the first time, small and medium-sized companies are considering making an investment in diversity, equity, and inclusion.

Across the board, consultants are getting slammed with requests for information and proposals. My company, Moving Beyond, has had dozens of conversations with leaders who are making first-time investments in DEI. In these, I see a clear trend among the well-intentioned.

Persona 1: Training. Right now. In 2 hours or less.

Despite the preponderance of data and studies that say otherwise, the single biggest request at the moment is for all-staff training. One time training sessions don’t work (NYT) to create the culture shifts necessary to make the organization work for diverse individuals. In fact, they often cause more harm to people of color. …

Earlier this year, I was invited to speak at a women-forward community and workspace — The Wing in Los Angeles’ West Hollywood neighborhood.

At the time I was invited, I had seen some grumblings on Twitter about the experience of the staff at the organization, in particular black and brown employees that were hugely underpaid and overworked. A few women of color in my network indicated that it was a white woman’s space, but ultimately kept their memberships because of the connections and social capital.

The space was full of plush pastel seating, femme, gold accents, with a members-only lockerroom chock full of channel body oils and sweet-smelling lotions. Honestly, I’m not even sure of how one would use most of the products in that locker room. The entire space seemed to be designed for a themed-brunch. …

In the midst of a heavy weak for the black community in the United States, with a call to action from every imaginable group — the South Asian community remains oddly silent. Have we already forgotten about the brutality suffered by our communities in the UK, Canada, South Africa, and across the commonwealth?

As a fair-skinned South Asian woman, I was largely unaware of my own privilege until moving to the United States. …

I could publish a book with all the apologies I’ve received from white women, nay, a series. They always come years after a racialized incident, long after harm has been done. They rarely offer actions, or a desire to repair. They always tear open old wounds and leave me feeling wholly inadequate for days on end.

Some come from women I admire, respect, work with, have forgiven, might call an ally.

Last week I got two.

The first one said (paraphrased), “I saw your features while flipping through the 425 Business magazine. Congrats! You’ve come such a long way since x incident at y company where you were pushed out — we knew you’d do great things, but you know I couldn’t do anything to support you.” I found myself asking why a woman with so much influence, an industry leader, a board member at said company, couldn’t step up to defend a WoC who has been gaslit by that company’s CEO for six months. …

Recently during a Facetime call, the person I was chatting with let out the fact that her pandemic life was in-fact pretty great. She is used to working from home, her pandemic-proof business is booming, and the ‘extra’ time has given way to cooking big, indulgent meals. Living in an affluent suburb with big homes, perfectly manicured lawns, and broad sidewalks, she said: “I’m sure someone is suffering, but I just don’t see it.”

I few weeks prior a colleague wanted tips on approaching her boss who was asking women on the team to “be honest about their hours” and take a pay cut if they couldn’t swing a full 40-hours a week. …

Over the past month, we’ve been inundated with messages from influencers, philanthropists, individuals, companies, and any moderately progressive institution about how the normal never served the masses. It’s true, the inequity that COVID-19 has laid bare for all to see (or anyone will to), is centuries in the making.

Activist voices have highlighted these issues for decades, they are not new or accidental— essential workers on the frontlines are disproportionately people of color. In New York City, 75% of frontline workers are Black, Latino, and Asian. Today, African Americans and Latinos are dying at twice the rate of Caucasians. Asian communities are being openly harassed. Native Americans are falling ill and dying at a rate far disproportionate to their population, being pushed to open access to their lands. …

Adapted from client and partner communication by partners at movingbeyond.co

Dear clients, partners and colleagues;

We are working daily in our response to COVID-19 with clients and want to share our thinking with you on the role of diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) in this time of chaos and turbulence.

By now, most of you are physically distancing and sheltering in-place, while also working harder than ever to ensure the survival of your organizations and continued employment of your staff. …